How Time Flies

Here I am again writing another blog after an extended absence due to problems with friends & women but that is over now so I can get back to the blogs.

So what has been going on in my life of late?  Well I've discovered a few things about myself, things that subconsciously I've known for awhile but haven't been properly bought to my attention until late.  To fully understand what I'm saying you need to know that I've spent a bit of time lately complaining about being in the friendzone; not being able to find a lady to have a relationship with & only being able to find new friends.

For ages now I've been trying to work out why this has been the case, why I've not been able to break the barrier between friendship & relationship & I've realised that its a contribution of factors that all mould together.  It's caused by being to nice to women, offering to pay for things when we go out thus enabling them to have a considerable amount of trust in me plus a few other things.  This leaves them with an image of a guy who is to good to be true, a guy who could normally be considered as the commonly viewed 'perfect boyfriend' & therefore cannot go any further than friends because, in their mind, sooner or later that image is going to fade & I will become a total jerk.

I also have a tendency to wait to long before going along the dating/girlfriend route.  I become friends with them & then good friends before realising my feelings for them have become to overwhelming to contain anymore.  This leads to me asking about dating only to be told that they like me but as a good friend & nothing more.  I know myself that this is primarily caused by awkwardness & inability to ask women out on dates.  I've never really been in the dating scene so have no real idea of what it entails other than what I have observed through other people & the media.  I was in a long term relationship & that was my first & only relationship to date & if I'm honest asking a girl out scares the life out of me.  I'm scared she'll say yes but most of all I'm scared she'll say no & I don't like handling with rejection as it hurts more with each time.

I know all of this is true, I know I need to work on not caring what others think or say, I know that everyone gets rejected at some point & more often than once.  I know that in theory I have nothing to be scared of but life itself & I shouldn't be scared of it.  I should be out enjoying it & embracing it because until I do that I will forever be stuck in this singledom rut that I am in now.